Yosemite Rescued by Ranger (and Politician) Bots!
- Yosemite Me
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
“We need to let robots take over. . . . Robots will do jobs we have been doing, and do them much better than we can. They will do jobs we can’t do at all. They will do jobs we never imagined even needed to be done. And they will help us discover new jobs for ourselves, new tasks that expand who we are. They will let us focus on becoming more human than we were. It is inevitable. Let the robots take our jobs, and let them help us dream up new work that matters.”
Kevin Kelly, American Writer and Editor
that Will Shape Our Future (2016) Viking Press
The eleventh—and by far the most marathon-worthy—United States government shutdown finally came to a halt on November 12, 2025, after 43 days of furloughs, frustration, and far too many politicians insisting the other side would “blink first.” For the majority of federal employees, the end of the shutdown arrived with the same emotional relief as spotting an unreserved campsite in Yosemite Valley at 4 p.m. on a Saturday in July. Rangers assigned to law enforcement, who had been working without pay (because “mission essential” doesn’t come with hazard pay for political gridlock), were undoubtedly happy to know the long-promised back pay would finally drift their way.
Naturally, Yosemite’s broader ranger corps was also eager to get back to the multitude of responsibilities they execute with grace, grit, and only the occasional eye roll: visitor services, interpretive programs, trail maintenance, search and rescue, and politely redirecting lost tourists who are absolutely positive they’re on the Mist Trail when they’re actually on a service road.
This time around, however, most National Parks remained open during the shutdown—an approach not taken in past standoffs. Critics predicted that without federal staff on duty, the parks would become post-apocalyptic wastelands filled with overflowing trash, vandalism, and a surprising number of spontaneous campfires. Supporters countered that national parks “belong to the American people,” and shutting them down for political theater was worse than the risks posed by a few misbehaving visitors.
To the relief of nearly everyone, Yosemite had a relatively mellow 43-day experiment in semi-supervised wilderness recreation. Save a few eager base jumpers doing what base jumpers do, incidents were minimal. Thanks to Yosemite’s concessionaire, Aramark, trash pickup continued and the dumpsters did not become Mount Garbage. Volunteers from the Yosemite Conservancy contributed their cadre of volunteers and naturalists to keep some programs intact. Even Tioga Road closed on time—November 12—minimizing a big chunk of the Park that required services.
Unfortunately, even with the shutdown finally over, a new budget timeline ticks away: funding runs out January 30, 2026. It would not be beyond belief that, with the current US political instability resembling tectonic plates under California, we could very well see Shutdowns 12, 13, and beyond lined up like sequels in a franchise nobody asked for.
Which raises the question: Must national parks and their visitors be hostages to political standoffs? If not, who—or what—could step in when the humans in Washington can’t keep the lights on?
Enter the employment revolution led by “cobots”—a word Amazon conjured for “collaborative robots” to make them sound less like job-stealing automatons and more like cheerful workplace buddies—which is rolling full steam ahead. Amazon itself is poised to replace 14,000 corporate employees with “transformational technology” (their friendlier synonym for AI) and a stunning 600,000 by 2027. Other major companies have joined the automation parade: UPS is trimming 54,000 positions, Klarna 1,500, Salesforce 4,000, Lufthansa 4,000, with Target, IBM, and Duolingo happily following suit.
Which raises another inevitable question: Could AI “cobots” replace Yosemite’s rangers during the next government shutdown?
Financially, it seems like a ‘no-brainer,’ so to speak. A Neo Humanoid robot can be ordered today for a 2026 delivery at the cost of a mere $20,000—a fraction of a government salary—and robots don’t need sick leave, vacation days, or disciplinary reminders about not hanging the American flag upside down on prominent cliffs.
Meanwhile, China’s XPENG IRON robot is scheduled to go into mass production in 2026. Tesla’s Optimus Generation 3—advertised as the “real housekeeper”—is not far behind at $30,000 a unit. If Amazon can automate everything from inventory sorting to HR emails informing you that your role has been “transformed,” why not automate ranger duties also?
Let’s explore the possibilities of doing so, keeping in mind the fast-moving advancement of AI application to humanoid ‘cobots.’
Information Sharing: Ask a Ranger Bot
A robot with access to the worldwide web can answer visitor questions faster than you can say “Is Tioga Road open?” (Answer: as of November 15, 2025, no.) Want to know if bears are hibernating, how many of them live in the park, or where to rent a bicycle? No problem. Curious about who started the Washburn Fire? Done. ChatGPT went through this very test, proving itself at least competent enough to earn a gold star on a Yosemite performance evaluation.
Interpretive Programs: The Future of Guided Walks
Could robots give interpretive tours? Absolutely. A GPS-guided unit strolling through Cook’s Meadow providing multilingual narration about the lives of black oaks, mule deer, and coyotes is well within reach. If WAYMO’s driverless taxis can navigate Los Angeles and San Francisco traffic—a place where human behavior defies all standard modeling—a robot should have no problem strolling a boardwalk or trail in Yosemite.
Granted, Russia’s new humanoid IDOL robot recently wobbled across a stage like it was three martinis deep, then fell over while waving. Perhaps not that one. But a polished model could offer multilingual programs and “learn” from visitor questions in real time. With a built-in screen—like Tesla’s Optimus—a robot ranger can even deliver visuals on demand. Who needs a handheld tablet when your guide is the tablet?
Horseback Patrol: “Giddy-what?”
With Tesla’s Optimus weighing only 125 pounds, a horse could carry it without much fuss—though some testing would be wise to ensure the horse doesn’t panic when its rider gives commands in oddly perfect equine grammar. Imagine the blissful harmony as the robot translates “giddy-up” into fluent ‘horse-speak.’
Visitor Interaction: Multilingual, Screen-Free Assistance
1X’s NEO robot markets itself as a friendly, conversational companion with a built-in large language model. With 25% of Yosemite’s visitors coming from abroad, a language-capable robot could help reduce misunderstandings about everything from trail conditions to bear-box usage—possibly preventing a few late-night bear raids triggered by improperly stored granola. And in cases where bear encounters escalate, robots could even emit a foul odor designed to deter wildlife (Whether this would be different from how some backpackers smell on day three would require more data.)
Conflict Resolution: Parking Lot Diplomacy
Summer parking in Yosemite requires skill, patience, and occasionally divine intervention. A ranger bot could scan lots in real time and direct quarrelling visitors toward open spaces before tempers flare. If necessary, a mild stun-gun feature could reinforce civility—purely in theory, of course.
Final Thoughts: The View of the Future
Ranger bots could, in theory, keep Yosemite running smoothly during shutdowns, ensuring both safety and access. If we’re truly seeking solutions to government shutdowns, however, perhaps the first positions to automate should be the ones causing the shutdowns in the first place: politicians!
Albania has already appointed an AI-powered virtual assistant, Diella, to a ministerial role. A U.S. “shebot” could offer America’s young girls a new role model: a public servant with zero ego, zero lobbyist ties, and zero desire to filibuster. Surely, that alone would transform politics.
Still, Rangers hold a special place in our national heart. They are stewards, educators, and protectors—roles that continue to deserve respect. So perhaps politicians can be swapped out first, and Rangers “retired” gently later through natural attrition—giving visitors time to adjust to their new robotic guides and ensuring the wilderness remains a place where human kindness, curiosity, and humor coexist with whatever the technological future brings.
Until then, here’s hoping the government stays open long enough for everyone—human and robot alike—to enjoy Yosemite’s views.
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